Tis beyond the surface that we find the untold & the extraordinary – Afeefa NishaatDecember 5, 2016 0 By Afeefa Nishaat
So, I am not someone with a big story or a girl in whose life a sad accident gave a kick start to her passions. I’m a small girl with hope in her heart and a smile on her face; and that’s the essence of who I am.
Writing has always been something that happened simultaneously but I never paid any special attention to it. I have been a healthy kid in school who was bullied basically because she wasn’t skinny or too pretty. My physical appearance gradually gave birth to inferiority. Frankly, I was not even a nerd even though I looked like one. I was clumsy, not at all elegant and then soon I started to surrender myself to my insecurities. I had terrible days when I’d write about everything that happened with me in a diary and often would sit alone and cry. Gradually, I developed an attitude of letting things go and focusing on what I want to do. It sure took a lot of time.
Self doubt injured my head and heart. It took me a while to understand and accept myself, love myself for who I am. When I didn’t love myself, I couldn’t love people around me. I struggled on the inside. I struggled to accept the one I was born with and now that I accept who I am, I love myself. Since the day I started to admire myself, things started to change for better. The insides became important for myself. Inner peace and confidence became the key to a successful life.
By the time I turned 18, I started to pay attention to my inner self than mere physical appearance. And that by default became the centre of attraction for me even when I started to interact with people. People’s thoughts, their feelings and their insides started to attract me more.
I won’t call myself a writer but someone who loves to scribble things and express herself through words. But when we talk about writers, I believe it’s impossible to be a writer or a poet who fails to feel, imagine and take pleasure in art. And so… I started to write. I had a page on Instagram where I posted whatever I wrote but then The Scribbled Stories happened. I started to submit my work there and it gave me pleasure to see how so many people could relate and understand things that I wrote about.
Gradually, it became important to write not because it’s just words that people give a thumbs up to, but because there were many who would thank me for writing something that consoled them. Often, even now, I receive messages from strangers on Facebook telling me how they loved what I wrote or felt better. Inbox slowly has become a gift box because I come across happy people there. There is not a thing as pleasurable as coming across someone who feels better because of what you wrote. Then call it luck or destiny, TSS had a writer’s hunt and I became a part of their beautiful big fat family.
My struggle is personal, with myself and with scars that do not show. My problems remain in my words, in my thoughts and feelings— they stain the sheets of papers and they do not get wasted by turning into just tears. The hours I spend with myself turn out to be nanotales or poems, or prose that help a lot of people. It gives me immense pleasure to know that the things I feel and I am scared of admitting are not really the things we shouldn’t be ‘not talking’ about. There are things in this world, emotions and tragedies people go through and don’t share them. I, as an amateur scribbler/writer, feel that all those chapters that people do not talk about should be the things I talk about in my words and not to injure them but to heal them.
I have been alone, and most lonely when I was surrounded by people because of the fact that I couldn’t help myself. I only aim to please my heart and feel more pleasure by putting smiles on everyone’s face. Through my words, I only wish to create a world with lots of love that touches their soul, and wait for it to show in their lives too. Wherever I will be in life, I only wish to keep coming back to these words: Have courage, stay humble.
So, that’s my story. I ain’t someone huge but just someone who is struggling to feel happy inside and not on the outside only unlike others.
Contact me here.