Most of us have been there,when you feel empty, a stone stuck in your throat, your eyes burn from tears, you feel completely and utterly heart broken. Breaking up with your significant other is never an easy thing to do, especially if strong emotions were involved. Sometimes in these situations there is no one who can help you, not even your parents. The only one who can help you is the one inside you and your decisions. It’s difficult to remove some part of your life which you lived, with lots of feelings and emotions, not sure that those parts of life give wonderful memories or scars. May be a scar because somewhere I read that-
” A little talent is a good thing to have if you want to be a writer. But the only real requirement is the ability to remember every scar, and you are the only one writer of your life.”
I don’t know what I should call them or if there is any word in dictionary, here confused what I shall use “Player”, “Killer or “Murderer”, but for this case I’m using “Killer” as they are expert in murdering soul, killing trust and emotions. So if you are a victim then, game has begun with your emotions and reactions. Anxiety attack, depression, migraine, vertigo, and sleeplessness, these all are now going to play with you, and I think it’s not a big deal for many ones to face these. But what you’ve to be worried about is crying fit. You know it’s not easy to make a matured person cry, but yes a “Killer” can do this .May be someone says you were weak, dumb or chutiya but you know when someone cries so hard that it hurts their throat, it is out of frustration or knowing that no matter what you do or attempt to do can change the situation. When you feel like you need to cry, when you want to just get it out, relieve some of the pressure from the inside – that is true pain. Because no matter how hard you try or how bad you want to, you can’t. That pain just stays in place. Then, if you are lucky, one small tear may escape from those eyes,that water constantly. That one tear, that tiny, salty, droplet of moisture is a means of escape. Although it’s just a small tear, it is the heaviest thing in the world. And it doesn’t do a damn thing to fix anything.
Sometime it may happen that your adrenaline goes high unexpectedly, you will easily get panic with any small issue or anything. You can feel fear from anything, again feeling anxiety from anything (I can’t define “anything” here as even I don’t know what they are), you may sometimes feel vertigo in a crowded area, and this is going to be toughest during your struggle against your scars.
So did you know what’s the problem and why are you crying, is crying fits is any disease? Firstly what you need to do is just cry hard and it should be continuous and take as much time as you need, but make a promise with yourself that this is going to be last. When you end with it try to realize the problem and you will find that the problem was your memories, which were continuously striking in your mind and only way to come out from crying fits is to remove those part of your life which are already killed by the “Killer”; it’s just garbage now and you have to dump it, not easy but you have to decide to do this anyway. From now on no more crying, try to get yourself busy (it will not work if you over think past events), hanging out with friends and supporting in their activities, then also ask them to help keep you busy if they understand your situation otherwise they are just going to make fun of your tears, party with them, try to involve in sports activities, listening to encouraging music can help tremendously, delete all dreary music and stay away from songs you used to listen with the “Killer” and try travelling in groups, try to pretend like you are happy and enjoying all the time. When pretending like this becomes your habit then you really feel that you are actually enjoying. Clean up evidence like photos, chats, and gifts. These are just material and they represent an era in your life which was sacred and beautiful. Backchodi with friends will always work and if you don’t like it try travelling with friends, keeping in mind not to recall any memories in front of them. But if you recall them then you could easily understand that even when you have dumped your memories, scars can revive your anxiety and you already know that Anxiety is powerful – so powerful that the stress of it is essentially providing your body with a non- stop barrage of attacks, and your body responds by worsening its emotions. (Warning: Keep away from alcohol to prevent drunk dialing.)
May be you don’t know but your tears, weakness, depression, scars and fear combine to make you extraordinary from others. Believe me the fusion of all this always gives you ultimate power and only you have to decide, whether it be used as positive or negative.
As I said your memories are garbage which you have dumped, now it’s a time to degrade garbage and make a fuel which can boost you towards success. Believe it or not you will get through this. It will hurt to realize any future plans you may have had with that “Killer” is now obsolete, but that doesn’t mean your life is over. Try to take this as a clean state, a door opening for new ideas only for yourself. You can take your negative emotions and apply them to positive things. You can push yourself for start-up, preparation for civil services, start new healthy habits, involve in new sports, and try to build a new talent . Grasp the opportunity to reinvent yourself keeping in mind SUCCESS IS THE BEST REVENGE.
There is always a reason for everything; better things are in store for you. Some people always have a hard time seeing the good in goodbye. Don’t spend your days and nights missing someone who is actually a “Killer” and does not think you are worth missing at all. Make positive efforts to let go of the past, forgive everyone and try to develop a positive outlook at life. If you can’t do it right away, fake it until you make it.
There is another option if your anxiety is chronic. May be you are going to fight for the rest of your life. Your illness scares you sometime. But you’ve to determined to win, to fight and to overcome, you’re with yourself, you’ve to cross road without others help. You have to learn from your life,that the weakness is your power, if something bad happens with you, it means you got some special power to face challenges. Never trusts a society, if you are crying in front of them, instead of understanding your emotions they laugh on your tears until they are in a same situation. You know there is no one in this society with you, No matter how dark it seems. But you are not alone there is a sun inside of you which will always find a way of coming out. Your life with tears was not fun. But now you’ve to be strong, you’ve to learn how to hurt, how to revenge, how to laugh on others. If you want to be strong, learn fighting alone. Sometimes you don’t always have be good because straight trees are slashed first. If you are going to be the worst then don’t be a “Killer”, you are not one of them.
“Pain is Inevitable. Suffering is optional” – M. Kathleen Casey