This one is for the Devi inside you.
I was not what I am today. It took a bunch of tremendously life changing events including traumatizing academia that has made me this foetus sized girl contrarily popular as a child, definitely hated by a few and loved by a few more and occasionally scary hot head kind of personality. I will not talk to you about my laurels and achievements, although I’ll talk to you about my growth through emotions.
Let me take it from the top- those four walls of school that really kept me afar from all the real world problems was actually a paradise, if I take a look back. It started right from that day of punching into the red walls of the University and that becoming a habit- ever since, life is exactly what a fancy potboiler would call a roller coaster ride. Victories and losses are part of a game, and believe me as I say, the University life has been just the arena of a variety of games staging my multiple victories and blaring out my losses too.
There’s a common saying –
“Rolling stones catch no moss.”
I, here have been a rolling stone for the major part of my school life, hence gathered not much moss. The definition of friendship, companionship has changed way too many times- too much for me to remember. What I really remember is, every school I changed and also that one time I had to change states I did make merry classmates, I can call them friends, right? After-all, they are all on my Facebook friend list, and the only time I get to converse with a few of the is when they have some college project and have got some online survey to conduct. So yes, friends. My mates here in college, often boast of their school friends, and I just sit there amazed by the mere existence of such a phenomenon. Though in the past four years, I too have gathered some real amount of moss, I tell you, and this journey has been a real tedious one.
With every individual that ever crossed my path, stayed or returned, has left with me a souvenir; souvenir of a lesson about crucial real life aspects namely- trust, belief, soulmates and
other gibberish things.
How can I forget to mention about my group of twenty people as I started college. And now after completion of 3 long years, I am left with hardly four to five human beings within the walls of my college that I can really look up to. Is that a huge number too? Well, I have still two years here, so you never know.
Education. I really do not want to talk about it, I mean I know like amino acids are to proteins, education is to a human, but lets just keep it aside, because, it’s a mad race, I am surely running in it, but well I am not winning.
I am about finding happiness in tiniest things like a dog trying to catch its tail, making puns out of everything that the teacher or the person sitting next to me says. I am all about embracing friendships too tightly to let that go, making mistakes as the pivot of stronger bonds, taking to pen and paper or emails instead of using Whatsapp or the short messaging service. Here I’ll take this space to really give credits to that one person that unconsciously introduced me to this side of me, with making and breaking of what we can call the happy place over and over again with a never breaking chain of faith.
And all through this, through this chain of natural and spontaneous changes, through this series of coming and going, there were these two most amazing people in my life that never left, and will never leave in fact, the two people I am the luckiest daughter to. It takes a lot to see the mistakes of your offspring and never scold that imbecile but just sit to to just talk, shower all the possible love they hold and wash off all the sorrows.
I am you. I am who has traded night’s slumber not just for assignments and next day examination studies but also for the people I care to find in the pink of their life. I am she who has gained sometimes and lost all on the others for trust, faith and love. I am she who has evolved deliriously through the dynamic life. I am she who was as innocent as Parvati but has grown to be her own Durga, she who is the slayer of her sorrows, the victor over her own vices, her own durgatinashini. I am she who flows like the chain of waves.
I am Urmimala and my one word to you shall remain अनुगच्चति प्रवाह (anugachchati pravah- follow the flow).