An open letter by a girl who has lost her father- Tanisha KhuranaNovember 26, 2017
This is Tanisha Khurana, a student of English Literature.
I haven’t lived a day when i didn’t want to write something or express in a better way, thus yes you guessed it right, I want to be a writer.
Now, there are many incidents that shape us but one lesson I want everyone to know about is –
I want to share one incident that changed me and shaped me into someone for whom nothing is impossible to get over from. It’s not as sad as it sounds, it’s been many years and my memory of my dear dad has become very blur. My mother is a very strong woman and she used to tell me there is a reason why something happens. I never really found any reason other than that everyone has their own time bombs and one day everyone will explode, and even they themselves have no power to prevent it from happening. But, I did learn many lessons from not having him around. There were days I used to picture him, something I would have done only on happy or sad days. But, I’ll tell you I imagine him on normal insignificant days. Like an average Sunday and him reading newspaper and we all debating about whether we should go out for a dinner or not, him calling me casually to ask if I was safe in that party which was too far away, him giving the man to man talk to my brother and the list is endless.
But, my lesson I have learnt it. One, you’ll have to move ahead no matter how hard or impossible it seems to you, one day it just won’t hurt that much, the void a person creates is never-ending but we do have control on ourselves as we are an individual first. Two, you don’t have a lot of time or control over things, and I bet on the fact that normal average days matter more than the very happy or the sad ones.
Make everyday seem grand, do that one thing you have been wishing to for your mother, make her laugh, live for others. But no one told you, don’t forget to keep moving even when no one is there, live for your own self too. Own your life, don’t let anyone else own it.
So, how did I overcome this grief? A few steps which I feel are to be followed and are universally proven by many psychologists it goes this way. Whenever someone is struck with a tragedy there comes grief. So, there are some stages to it which many people fail to recognize since their clocks stop right where the tragedy took place. And in the process we lose a lot of ourselves.
Stage 1 of overcoming grief is accepting it.
Stage 2 includes facing it and giving yourself a ‘deadline’ to overcome it.
Stage 3 involves minor breakdowns but a more clear vision to what to do next.
Stage 4 That’s it the pain is gone you have done it. The whole life awaits.
A poem by me :-
I value people, because i have lost many.
Some literally some figuratively, People matter at least to me.
Life isn’t about the wealth you own, Wealth if any are the people you meet.
Life makes sense, Only if you love truely.
Don’t wait for the right moment, Make efforts every day.
Because time slips away, Faster than you can imagine.
People slip away even faster, Present is all you have, all you have.